Tag Archive: Human

It’s not a perfect world we live in. You know it, I know it. The core of it is that we need to make the best of what we’ve got.

There are some who want to throw out everything our Founding Father set up and start up a new world order in the vision of whatever ideology they follow. I can tell you some of this is pretty downright scary. We don’t have a perfect government, but who does in this world? If it was perfect, we’d be living in a utopia. Some things work out great on paper, but when you actually implement it into society, it doesn’t quite work as planned.

I have to wonder, would we really be better governed by corporations and big business? Would any of us be better off under their care? Seriously, can you answer that for me? Would this country do better if we scrapped the governmental system in place for a completely new one? Say one with Christofascistic overtones? If you don’t know the term, I urge you strongly to go research the term. I’m not doing your homework for you–I fully assume those who follow me are intelligent enough to want to find out what some of the things I talk about here.

Could you picture yourself living in an America that is run by a theocratic agency? You might want to read ‘The Handmaid’s Tale‘ by Margaret Atwood. Or V for Vendetta. Or, just imagine, the government model that was in WALL-E. Basically the government became a big coroporation. Some people like this idea, because so many politicans are just puppets for big money.

What kind of world do you want to live in? Ask yourself that. In November, when you’re in that voting booth. Do you want to be ruled by the cheap car salesman, Mittens, or or our sitting president, who got a crapload of misery dumped on him by the previous one?

Another point. The tought times we’re in? They’re not going to vanish overnight. There is NO magic wand to be waved to make all these problems disappear. It took time for them to grow, and it’ll take time to make them go away. We Americans need to get rid of our instant grtification mentality, because it’s utterly and completely unrealistic to think that way. We have to fix our own problems, and sometimes amputating a limb (as in dumping our current president) is not a good solution. As the old phrase goes ‘would you cut off your nose to spite your face’?

Big business does not care about me or you. It only cares about how much money it makes at the expense of the public. It doesn’t care if you lose your home, everything you have, your job, your family. So why do you think having these rich CEOs meddling in politics will make it better for YOU? You are simply slave labor to them. You are an automaton, a drone that they don’t want to pay because it means more money for THEM.

Life is an enormous struggle, people. Get used to it. You can either blame everyone else for your problems and hate everyone, not contributing a whit save your vitriol, or you can roll up your sleeves and try to make the world a better place. I know it, because YES WE CAN.


I’ve been thinking about this phrase again, and pondering what it means. I think I’ve come to a realization that it doesn’t necessarily mean you dump all your problems on a possibly divine being and go on with your life.

There are some things in life that we, as human beings, just can’t handle. They are not humanly possible for us to fix, because they are such enormous issues that one person can’t possibly do it on their own. We do what we can on our own, hoping our little bit is one little piece making things better in the world.

Let me go into where this all came about. It was one of my past jobs at a pharmacy, and I was working the cash register. One of my regular customers came in for his items and asked me how my day was. I answered him honestly, not that great. He was a very sweet man, a widower and religious in view, but it never really bothered me. he looked at me and said ‘sometimes you just have to give it to God, because we’re not meant to take on those kinds of burdens’. I thanked him and his words just stuck in my head the rest of the day.

The fact is, those words made a real kind of sense to me. I was not in the best of emotional states at the time, I was deeply depressed, stressed out and close to breaking down. I was trying to hold it all inside at that job, all the while ready to fall apart internally. I was pushing myself so hard that it was affecting me physically, trying to be the perfect employee and perfect daughter, and failing spectacularly at both. I was neglecting my own mental and phsyical health for my job, because i felt that the job was more important than how I felt.

Let’s also understand something here. I am not a holy roller in any way, shape or form. I despise fundamental religions with a passion. Especially those of the evangelical bent. If anything, I see myself as a fervent agnostic, not willing to blindly place any faith in one place without question. I do not believe faith will cure any illness one suffers. I’m quite militant about that. I’ve ticked off a lot of people for having that philosophy, and will CONTINUE to tick people off, because I will not swear mindless allegiance to any higher power. The concept going on here is that any one person is incapable of solving all the world’s ills. It is an impossible task, and we cannot torture ouselves over that. We take care of ourselves first, our physical, mental, and spiritual health. The rest just follows. If any of you can’t grasp what I’ve said here, or just cherry-picked what you liked from it, you haven’t paid attention to me at all. You just glommed onto this because it had ‘God’ in the title, so therefore it was good. It’s up to each person whether they want to see this in a religious light or not, but what matters is that what I’ve said means something to you. Simple as that.

I’m not perfect, and I never will be. That’s reality. I keep trying to do everything at once, thinking that people will love me more if they see me doing all these things at once. I’m not Supergirl, I’m just me. That’s where the concept of ‘giving it to God’ comes in. I CAN’T do everything at once, and I need to let that go. It’s impossible for me to solve all of my problems in one fell swoop. I have to break things down, take it one task at a time. Doesn’t make me a bad person. It just makes me human. I can’t fix everything, I need to fix me first. It’s not about giving up one’s responsibilities, but knowing exactly what YOU are capable of handling on your own.

We push ourselves so hard, past the breaking point at times, and I’ve seen personally how destructive it can be to ourselves. We don’t necessarily have to believe in a higher power to know we are loved, we just need to understand what our abilites and limits are, and NOT condemn ourselves for that. That’s the lesson I’m trying to learn. It’s what we all need to learn.

Second chances and forgiveness

This has been on my mind lately. I don’t think Americans are very forgiving people, as much as some would claim they are. We’re altogether too eager to write someone off if they don’t satisfy us in 30 seconds or less as a complete failure. We do not forgive and forget, as the phrase goes. We nurse our grudges, we feed our resentments by taking out our anger on other people.

Human beings are naturally prone to mistakes. If we didn’t make any kind of mistakes, I don’t think we’d be human anymore. We make bad choices at times, bad decisions, things we will regret for the rest of our lives. Yet some of us think that if one person makes an awful choice, they are forever unworthy of ay kind of redemption, respect, even love. When we ‘turn the other cheek‘, I don’t necessarily think it’s weakness. It means you are strong enough to take another blow and remain standing. Despite incredible hardship, people CAN survive, people can keep going. Maybe they have a certain quality within themselves that keeps them going.

I think of people living with AIDS, and how some of them got the disease from bad choices. Maybe some never learned their lesson from getting infected and keep living a self-destructive life, but I wouldn’t classify all victims like that. How many were too scared to find out? How many just had no idea? Is it fair to blame every person who acquires the disease as ‘they deserved it’? No. People can learn from their mistakes, people can turn those tragedies into  educational experiences, to teach others how to make their own lives better, to not make the mistakes people before have done.

I can’t always condemn people outright for things done. I don’t have the knee-jerk mentality others do, that once something is done it can never be taken back. I’ve made plenty of mistakes in my life, but those mistakes should not define WHO and WHAT I am. Just like everyone else. There are always exceptions.There will always be people that go beyond the rules, but those are the not the majority and should not be used as the standard to judge everyone. There are people in my life I will not forgive, because of what they’ve done to me. They knew when they did those things to me that they intended to hurt me and they weren’t sorry for it. There are some things that cannot be forgiven.

Maybe what I’m hoping for is that people will learn to become less judgemental of others. It’s not one’s looks that define someone; it’s their spirit. It’s not their faith that automatically declares them as a better person, it’s what they DO in the world that really matters. Our bodies should not define whether we are good or bad people, but what we do for others that define it.

What are YOU looking at?

As much as we would like to say we are an accepting culture, we have our moments where we fail miserably. I really don’t understand why some people feel compelled to stare at others. I can understand when children (most of them, not all), stare,because they’re curious and it’s something they’ve never seen before. There are others though,that stare just because it’s rude and they know darn well how rude it is, and do it anyhow. Someone with disabilites, or religious dress, or whatever moronic reason that goes through the vacant place where  a brain should be in their heads.

Some people make the claim that Europeans are more sophisitcated, but I’m going to have to disagree with that one. Talk about staring. Both times I was in Italy, I got gawked at as if I had two heads. It wasn’t just kids who did this, but grown adults. I had one old lady make the devil horns at me, and I was so angry I was nearly in tears. Italians are notoriously fashion-conscious; they can’t even go out for a simple walk without being perfectly coutured. They stared at me because I was a tourist and they stared at me because of my face. First time I went there, there was one trip to the beach that was just awful. A bunch of kids kep running past me, bothering me about what time it was. My mom finally caught on and sent them packing with a sharp reprimand. I spent the rest of the time with my hat over my face. I couldn’t bear to see them coming to stare at me again. It didn’t help that the month before I had surgery on my nose too, so it was pretty sore and healing. Maybe it’s a little relaxed since I’ve been there, but you don’t see many people with disabilites in public in Italy. They think it makes them look bad. Something about aesthetics. I’ll challenge any of them to prove me wrong on this.

So, back to staring. One could say that  person only deserves to get stared at because of how they dress, or their tattoos, or numerous piercings. That’s a tricky area, because in some ways, how they look IS going to draw attention. Some of them who do this do it for themsleves, regardless of the attention, because of their own personal reasons. They have osmething about themselves that is resistant to the stares, the mockery, and condemnation of others. Some people have views that ALL people who are heavily modified (as in piercings and tattoos) are dirty low-lifes and criminals. That they’re stupid, uneducated and violent. Those are stereotypes. Through participating in forums on the subject, I’ve gotten to know some of these people and for all their looks, are human beings underneath. Maybe they’re a bit more bolder than I am, strong in their convictions, but they’re also very human beings. I think some of them are very kind and loving people. And as much as they say they don’t care about the looks they get, I think it does get to them at times. There is a whole multitude of reasons why they make the choices they have, and not all of them have a deep philosophical meaning. Not every choice is a logical one, but simply because of that doesn’t necessarily make it stupid. I don’t expect to convert anyone to my way of thinking, but what I would love is that what I say here makes people THINK the next time they pass judgement on someone who doesn’t fit within the norm.

Looking different is not a crime. Being non-conformist is not criminal behavior. It means you refuse to be categorized, boxed-up and labeled as a certain type of person. Looking like the poster child for Snobercrombie & Itch does not automatically make you a wonderfully kind and generous person. Some of the most prim and properly dressed folks have come across to me as the meanest, bigoted people ever. Or people who were heavily pierced and covered in tattoos treated me with absolute kindness. The reverse is also the same. We really need to make an effort to overcome this idea that looks define a person. When you stare at someone, you reduce them to the status of a THING, something not human. You convert a person into an object to be reviled and scorned. You are saying without speaking, that the object of your staring is to be hated and condemned. I wonder about that, whenever I see people looking at me for longer than is necessary. When they look at me, are they seeing me as a human being or as a piece of garbage. I have a hard time telling myself that people look at me because they may think I’m attractive. People who have taken the time to know me find out what I’m actually like, and they can see past my looks to see the personality within. We need to overcome this obsession of judging people based on looks, because this world is becoming ever-increasingly diverse. Nothing is black and white anymore. I prefer to say that life is more like greyscale. We are all a million shades of grey when it comes to each of us. We need to learn to see the INSIDE of a person first, not just seeing the outside.


Trust animals over people

English: Sleeping Tabby Cat.

Image via Wikipedia

I think I have reached a point where I’d rather spend my time among pets than actual human beings. Pets do not stab you in the back, lie to your face, cheat on you, or gossip. The more I deal with people, the more they seem to be nothing but false advertising. They claim to be a friend, then dump you the moment you no longer interest them. Humans are so petty, small-minded, jealous, selfish, bigoted creatures. They love to hate anything and everyone that doesn’t fit into their worldview.

When my beloved tabby cat passed away, a part of my soul died with him, and I have never been able to recover from that loss, 6 years ago. He kept me sane, he was the one thing that kept me from falling completely apart, and when he was gone, I DID break down. I talked to him about everything in my life, how much it sucked, what a pathetic excuse of a human being I was. All he did was give a meow or a purr, gaze at me with those great big yellow eyes and the whole world felt more tolerable. He kept me company at night, when I’d spend half the night tossing around, unable to fall asleep. He’d start purring, and that sound would, without fail, ease me into sleep. I knew I could get through a lousy day of work, knowing he’d be at home waiting for me. After dealing with nasty, rude, unpleasnat people, I looked forward with joy to curling up on my bed with him, enjoying his presence. I could leave the ugliness of theo utside world and work behind, feeling completely safe with my cat.

Now he’s gone, and I am forced to make friends with people, because I HAVE to, not exactly because I want to. I have to make friends in order for me to stay where I am now, have a support network so I can function. No one wants to be friends with me and after reading this, maybe I don’t blame them. I’m not good enough for people, I don’t have piles of fancy degrees that would get me high-paying jobs, I’m not a technical or mathematical genius that would guarantee me a good job. People snub me because I’m weird, because I’m shy, because I don’t fit it anywhere. I’m not popular, I like being a non-conformist, I have (gasp) liberal and progressive views of society. I’m too ‘nice’ perhaps, as in I’m not cold-bloodedly analyzing everyone for their weaknesses in order to use them for my own gain. Sorry for the run-on sentence, but it was necessary.

There’s not enough kind people in the world, I think. Kindness and showing kindness has been looked down upon as a sign of weakness, a fatal flaw. Having a conscience is considered cowardly in this cut-throat society. Being an ‘animal-lover’ means you’re a gutless loser to many. It’s why I choose to avoid interacting with people, because they’re only going to screw you over when you no longer have any use for them. I don’t think ANYONE would bat an eyelash if I dropped dead in front of them. That’s how I feel. I have been used and abused by human beings that I no longer trust them to do anything. I don’t trust myself. I don’t see myself as a human being, because I was tormented so much as a kid that I was more of a freak than human. It’s a horrible way to think, and I know deep inside it’s not true, but it’s a hard concept to overcome.

I wish I could see my faith in people restored, that there  ARE good, wonderful, loving people in the world. I wish I could meet some of those people face to face. I want to be proven wrong, that all these terrible thoughts I have are something to be washed away. I want to believe there still is such a thing as love in humans for one another. An animal puts its life, its very being into your hands for its survival. Why can’t we do that for one another?

On love…

Tibetan endless knot

Image via Wikipedia

No one person, group, or faith has sole provenance over love.  It exists on its own quite well, I think. People are always trying to corner the market on love, creating doctrines and legislations and laws on love, but really, it’s stupid.

Love is always, ALWAYS going to exist, no matter what people try to do to it. They can try to claim it’s THEIR sole factor that makes THEM better than everyone else but in all honesty, they’re being pretty ridiculous. How would you feel if someone declared to your face you can only love these kinds of people because ‘they said so’ or ‘their religious doctrine said so’?

I’d probably burst out laughing, because it’s so incredibly ABSURD. It’s like telling the ocean it can only make waves at 6 AM on a Tuesday afternoon when the sun is out. It is a FORCE OF NATURE. You cannot impose doctrine or dogma on a force of nature. You cannot force love into a shape it was never meant to fit because it HAS NO FORM to begin with.

Love is like the Universe; it just IS. It just exists, it doesn’t belong to ANYONE. We are all exposed to love, and we either allow it in, or we deny it.

Some would use the false argument that ‘some forms of love are abominations’, and would force us to swallow that lie, beat us down with ominous railings and ravings of how wrong it is. The moment one forbids love, TRUE love, they have engendered an abomination. They are saying that love is ‘only for certain people’, not everyone. THAT is reprehensible. That is amoral. That is declaring that another living being is not worthy of being loved. If we are ALL creations of the Divine, to deny love to just one is to deny it to every single living being. THAT is an abomination. I’ll give you some examples of perversions of love. When a woman is forced to marry her rapist because religion says so. When a spouse is forced to remain in a violent relationship against their will because religion dictates divorce is evil. When a parent abuses their own spouse and children. When a parent disowns their own child because that child didn’t turn out the way the parent wanted, according to some personal doctrine. You don’t do that to your own flesh and blood. You don’t tell your own child you wish they died because they chose a different life than the one you have. That is not ‘tough love‘–that is unadulterated EVIL. There is NO argument to support such things. You can try and prove me wrong, but I think you’ll have a very hard time justifying yourself.

‘Obey me without question and I will love you’ is not love. ‘Only followers of THIS ideology are worthy of love’ is not love. ‘Love me or I’ll kill you’ is not love. Blind, unthinking obedience is not love. You need to be able to think for yourself in order to love. You need to have a soul in order to love. When you give up everything that makes you a human being for blind dogma, you kill a part of yourself and you kill love. Love, like nature, is NOT a rational creature. Logic has no bearing on love, because it operates outside the box.

Having faith should not be the prerequisite to be able to love one another. Faith is completely beside the point, because I’ve met plenty of very religious people who are also the most hateful, intolerant bigots I’ve had the misfortune to encounter. They consider themselves very caring, devout people, and I’m sure they are in their own view, but they are also very narrow-minded and censorious. I have also met devoutly religious folks who are so filled with spirit they care about everything and everyone. We may have different faith, but we can embrace one another because we both have the capacity for love. I have met people who have no faith whatsoever and believe our life, once lived, is it. Yet they are loving, caring people because they believe that it’s the right thing to do. There are those who have no faith who are complete misanthropes and live to make others as miserable as they. There are all kinds of people.

I really don’t care what one looks like, as long as they can love another human being for who they are. I don’t care what faith or not they have, as long as they can love. That’s what makes us human. Love does not discriminate, PEOPLE do. We do this to ourselves, when we try to tell others how to live their lives, when one group of people arbitrarily decides how others MUST live, else be condemned. Love is a law unto itself. Love sees past everything, straight into our souls. We may be blind to love at times, but love sees all.

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