Tag Archive: diversity



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To be truthful, I have never felt normal. I haven’t led exactly the most normal life either. Most kids don’t spend half their childhood in and out of the hospital for reconstructive surgeries, or dealing with years of braces, headgear that look like a catcher’s mask, or getting half you head shaved for a procedure. That was not fun, and I would get so mad when someone mistook me for a boy. (It was in the summer, I was six years old,and spent most of that time in shorts and t-shirts. I also wore a baseball hat to cover my bare scalp).

I dreamed all the time of living a life without complications, without going to doctors, not being teased and bullied in school for my looks. I wished I had the ability to turn invisible, because I just wanted everyone to stop staring at me, so I could just go on and not be bothered by anyone. I hated the popular kids, and yet, I wanted so desperately to be like them. I wanted to be normal. I wanted to fit in, but no matter how hard I tried, I still was the butt of insults and humiliation.

There was a very bitter realization when I came to see I wasn’t going to be transformed into something devastatingly beautiful. This was me, I wasn’t going to be able to make my nose look perfect, I wasn’t going to make the scars on my face go away (unless I got creative with foundation), and I wasn’t going to have a perfect set of pearly whites to flash when smiling. It sucks big time, but it’s something I need to accept. At this point in my life, I’m pretty much there. But for all this time, a bit of wisdom from my college years came back to remind me. Where he’s gone now, I’ll never know, but he gave me the most profound advice I have ever heard in my 36 years being alive. Why be like everyone else when you can be unique? That’s what this acquaintance told me. Louis, of the scraggly goatee, glasses, and the Russian Army greatcoat. Louis, with the six-inch mohawk and steel-capped monster boots. I might add, one of the most eloquent and intelligent individuals I’ve ever met. Why would I want to be a carbon copy of every other girl out there when I can be completely myself? There was not another person on this earth like me who looked the way I did, thought the way I did, had my own particularly shrewd sense of humour. I should be embracing those attributes instead of burying them. At the time, I laughed at it, trying to deny to myself that they actually did make a lot of sense. At that time, I saw myself, or tried to make myself a sort of non-entity. I wanted to just fade into the background. Thing is, no matter how hard I tried, I was still visible and after a while, I got tired of it. What was so terrible about being different? Why is standing out in a crowd so awful to us, especially in America? Why did I want to be a part of those snotty, nasty girls in school? Because they always had the latest fashions? Because they were popular and had lots of friends? When I think about it, their lives were very shallow compared to mine. Theirs was all surface and attention, while mine was a matter of survival. I never asked for what happened to me, but it did. I get frustrated at times because of what I’ve been through, but I think it’s also taught me some valuable lessons. Some people may have just given up, after going through what I did, ended their life because they just couldn’t deal with the pain. I’ve been close to that point several times, but never broke. Maybe it makes me stronger, or that it shows I’m a survivor. Kids thought I was mentally handicapped because of my birth defects (shows how much they know!), but here I am, blogging! I’d like to think I’m fairly eloquent in my posts, and clearly that means something to those who read what I put out here.

So I’ve decided to embrace my uniqueness, because honestly, normal is really boring. Normal is not challenging the imagination, or the rules. Normal is living in a rut, because getting out of it means entering unexplored territory. I am different, and I’ve come to like it. I would rather befriend the shunned girl with the dyed blue hair than all the Abercrombie & Fitch outfitted brats, because there’s got to be a great story behind that blue hair. I’m blind in one eye, and for a time, it was a mark of shame for me. Now I accept it as just a part of who I am, and have developed a wicked sense of humour about it. I’ve played pranks on people with it, much to my immense delight. That’s empowering. I don’t have typical interests. I love being a sci-fi nerd, reading graphic novels, getting technical over computer special effects. I like wearing unusual makeup, or dressing a little outside the norm. I like bending the rules when it comes to my appearance. I have two tattoos and stretched lobes, because I like it. I have musical tastes that span the spectrum, from chamber music to metal and electronica. I don’t think it makes me a frivolous person, but much more dimensional. I’m always changing, because I am trying to figure out who I am inside. I never let myself embrace that growing up. The most amazing thing that I have discovered is that people think I’m beautiful. They have told me to my face I am an attractive woman, and I have never been able to express how amazed that sounds to me. They say I’m beautiful also because of who I am inside. I care about what people say, and I care about what I say to others. If all these different little facets are what make me shine, then I’m happy to say I am unique. I’m not better or worse than anyone else. I’m human, which is something I have overlooked for a long time. Every single orchid is unique in its shape, and rare, and beautiful. That’s how I see myself. Unique.

I have to offer thanks to someone who inspired me to not be afraid of being different. La Carmina, I truly enjoy looking into your world and seeing how I can apply it to my own. Thank you for helping me see my own strengths and potential. Plus Basil, who is my furry life preserver.

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Have you ever come across the term Christian apologists? I really never understood these people. I mean, C.S. Lewis was one, and I can deeply appreciate his writings aside from his novels. No, there are others who use this title as a cover for their proselytizing. I came across this link the other day and wanted to show it to you folks. It’s this group called CARM, and they had this lovely little link on how to witness to Wiccans about their misguided beliefs. http://carm.org/religious-movements/wicca/witnessing-those-wicca That’s the link.

I have gone back several times to read it, only to just break down laughing. This is something I would’ve attributed to the likes of The Onion, or maybe Landover Baptist. It reads like parody, except that it’s not. I’d almost think that some clever hacker inserted this into the site for laughs, but it’s all part of CARM’s agenda. It’s full of mistakes, outright lies, and just pure nonsense.

We don’t worship Satan. We are NOT Christians, okay? Satan is a strictly Christian invention. I could go into all the details, but I’m sure intelligent people like yourselves can find the answers yourselves. We do not engage in animal sacrifices. We don’t go out and proselytize either, because we find that mentality distasteful and quite rude. My descriptions of this can’t do it justice, because it’s just so zany. I could see this popping up on The Colbert Report–he would have a field day with it, especially roping that wunderkind Christine O’Donnell into it all. You all remember that lady, right?

So, my small army of subscribers and readers, do you think I’m evil and delusional? Bible thumpers will also describe us pagans as perverted, sex and drug-crazed freaks, that we engage in every sort of atrocity. For the record, I do not smoke, nor ever will, I rarely drink alcohol, and I most definitely abhor drugs. I’m not interested in intimacy either, which will surprise some of you. You’ve seen those pictures of me; I look fairly normal, don’t I?

This is what annoys me. People get it into their heads that people who share my beliefs are some freaky, unwashed hippies, or black-clad Goths, or gods know what else. We get endlessly stereotyped by Hollywood and right-wing kooks as these dangerous sociopaths, and no one bothers to correct those mistakes. We get shown crap like that idiot show ‘Charmed‘, and people actually think that’s what pagans do! Or the things in ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer‘. It’s embarrassing and frankly insulting. Yet very few of us are brave enough to go public and call out the lies made up about us. Oh we can say that workplace discrimination isn’t tolerated, but I’ve known many who’ve lost their jobs over their beliefs. I have heard of some who’ve had their kids taken away for simply being Wiccan. Yes, it’s illegal but it happens anyway, because the unspoken national religion in this country is Christianity. I have known fellow pagans who’ve been forced to move because they had been threatened by neighbors who didn’t like their beliefs. They had property vandalized, their homes damaged because of their faith. It’s why we keep a low profile. Some areas of this country are more open to diverse beliefs, but other places not very much.

We don’t like it very much to be preached at, told we’re stupid and deluded for believing in ‘lies’. We don’t really appreciate being told if we don’t convert, we’ll burn eternally in Hell. We don’t believe in Hell, for that matter. We get called superstitious, ignorant, uneducated and naive. Some of the pagans I’ve known are highly educated, some with multiple advanced degrees. They have served as soldiers in the military, as police officers, as computer specialists. They are just like the rest of us. Maybe we can be a touch eccentric at times, but I can assure you that we don’t go about in full Renaissance regalia waving magick wands. That’s only on Halloween. The ones who do that I think are just very unbalanced individuals who have a desperate need for attention. They DO NOT represent all of us, and furthermore, shouldn’t be lumped in with all of us. On another note, I get really annoyed with these so-called ‘occult experts’, who just happen to be some far-right preacher. They have no objectivity whatsoever, so whatever information they pass onto law enforcement or other public officials is already skewed in a negative light. A lot of pagans are wary of law enforcement because they’re afraid they’ll be automatically considered a criminal because of their beliefs. That’s thanks to the dedicated work of fundies that promote that stereotype. I would be more than happy to offer MY knowledge to authorities if they had an occult-associated crime. We just don’t have enough strong, CREDIBLE representatives of our beliefs, sadly.

Let me add this in closing. I do not point the finger at all Christians, because in reality, most are decent, down to earth folks who maybe ARE curious to what we’re about. When I refer to ‘Christians’ in this piece, it’s the loony tune fundamentalists who spout all of this nonsense.

We are not monsters, or depraved freaks. We are human beings, just like everyone else. We have different beliefs and that shouldn’t make us criminals, or second-class citizens. I hope this helps those who have wanted to ask, but were afraid to. We are not the enemy. Hate is the enemy. Blessed be, my friends.

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