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Music has its uses for me. Mainly as therapy, or enjoyment. Sometimes when I’m at my worst, it’s music that helps me cope with the stress and emotional overload. Sometimes I just don’t know how to describe my feelings, and a song often fits better than anything I could say.

If someone were to ask me what I’m like, I’d probably offer them a piece of music instead, being the socially-awkward freak that I am. I could probably use a song from my favorite band, Muse, to explain how I feel half the time, since a lot of the lyrics suit my emotional states. For example, the song ‘Hysteria‘ by Muse is a good way to describe the way I’ve been feeling lately.  Okay, their earlier stuff, because of the angst. Or I just came across a song called ‘I Don’t Speak Human’ by a group called Omnia that pretty much nails how I feel compared to everyone else. I’ll let you do the homework and find out for yourself, okay? I rather like them, it should be noted.

Sometimes it’s the sounds used, or the arrangements in the song that resonate in me a lot. It may be the melody, or even the key it’s in that just clicks with me. Music is emotions given voice. Sometimes all I want to hear is the music and not have anything from the outside world bother me, because I just can’t stand it anymore.

Okay, here’s another example. Muse (and be warned, I’m going to talk about them a LOT here, because I adore them so) has a song called ‘Con-science’. The play on words is deliberate, but it’s the whole sound, the whole effect of the song that makes this kind of connection deep inside me. It builds, swells into this tsunami of sound that will just come down on you like a tidal wave. And that’s the intention; I visualize my music as well as listen to it. I let it create scenarios in my head while I listen, which is how I try to separate myself from reality when I’m overstressed. It’s my solace and life preserver at times, I believe. Their music has just made this core-deep bond inside me, and it may come off ridiculous for some, but that’s how it is for me. (Is this also a sign of hard-core fandom? Perhaps one could enlighten me…)

I’m admittedly a weirdo, the way I go about things, but sometimes it’s  done out of a desire to protect myself. I use music to block out the ugliness of the world, and sometimes to block out my problems. When I’m with my music, I’m safe. It’s not a perfect system, and needs refining, but it’s one thing that has kept me from going completely insane. I don’t expect anyone to truly understand me, but I felt I needed to explain some of my habits.

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