I think my criticism of things in general is reaching critical mass, so before I go into a meltdown, let me release some pressure through therapeutic ranting. I think I’ve finally just had enough of certain fashion trends. By my title, you know what the top of my list is. I HATE Uggs. They have to be one of the ugliest things I’ve ever seen adorning one’s feet. It’s a fashion style I wish would die a quick death. I just don’t know how people see those things as attractive. They look like bedroom slippers to me. I don’t wear bedroom slippers out in public–I wear them around the house. My most despised combination is the Uggs worn with sweatpants. I don’t care if celebrities have been photographed wearing those together; it’s altogether unflattering on anyone. Maybe little kids look cute in pastel versions of those boots, but that’s it. I see girls pairing them up with skinny jeans, and all I can do is stare at their feet. They may have a nice sweater or top on, jeans, and then those dreadful creations on their feet. And these stupid things cost over a hundred bucks! They’re nothing; just a couple of pieces of material (or is it leather?) sewn together with a rubber sole. Oh, it’s because it has the name Uggs on it, that’s what makes it so bloody expensive. I’ve also seen them worn in the summertime, of all things, with Daisy Dukes-style jean shorts. I think the sight of that combination would send Tim Gunn into fits of apoplexy. I’m shuddering myself at the image. Yech.

You might as well dig out your old moon boots and wear them; that’s what they are, really. Just the modern-day version of moon boots. Everyone has to have them, even if they look absolutely idiotic in them. No thanks, I’ll pass on the latest obsession of the fashion lemmings out there. I own two pairs of boots that I like to wear. One is this gorgeous pair by Naturalizer that one of my coworkers dubbed my ‘Tron boots’. I don’t care—I love them. Black with dark silvertone snaps and buckles, and off-white stitching. The other reason why I love them? They are COMFORTABLE. My other pair of boots are also black, and are over 15 years old. They’re in great condition and I inherited them from my twin sister. They’re suede and have these pointed, fold-down tops. They still look in style and I’ve had many ask me where I got them. I can’t even remember where.

I just don’t understand why people love Uggs. Is it because of the brand that they HAVE to have them, or because everyone else has them? Really, ladies, some fashion trends are not worth adopting. It doesn’t flatter anyone, and it won’t make you more popular in school or social circles. If I’m going to spend good money on footwear, it’s going to be on something I like, and something comfortable. I have bad feet, and I can’t wear those evil, pointed-toe shoes I see women tottering about on, the ones with six-inch stiletto heels? Have they ever considered how dumb they look in them, when they can’t even walk straight?

I will stick to my clunky boots, with thick heels and rounded toes. I like my cushy Aerosoles, and the wonderfully cushioning Privos by Clark’s. I must have at least a half dozen pairs by Aerosoles, and I love all of them. I’ll wear my Converse Chuck Taylors until I die, and I don’t care if anyone says I’m too old to wear that style. I have owned many a pair since high school and I have no intention of retiring that habit. I like shoes that are nice to my feet, because I really can’t sacrifice my comfort for fashion trends.

Sometimes fashion is not always what it’s cracked up to be. Sometimes you need to be your own fashion guru and the heck with what everyone else says. Besides, you ought to be good to your feet; they’re what propels you to all those shoe stores!

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