Dart, or D’Artagnan, is my cat. I sadly do not have him anymore, as he passed away from illness, but I don’t want to dwell on the sadness. I want to share the crazy and hilarious things this silly cat did through the years.

I’ve told you of his penchant for sleeping in strange places, such as my bathroom sink and the mop wringer. He had rather unusual tastes in food as well. Such as the filling from Oreo cookies, yogurt, mayonnaise, most varieties of cheese (he hated swiss and blue cheese), loved Doritos (he swiped one right out of my sister’s hand), anchovies, butter, ate holes in two pound cakes my mom baked on separate occasions, and sliced turkey breast. I also discovered he loved the taste of vitamin E ointment in a rather uncomfortable manner. I had a skin graft taken from my forehead with one of my last surgeries, and I was required to keep it moist with vitamin E oil or ointment. So, after greasing up my forehead before bed, I settled in for the night. I was awoken later because I couldn’t figure out why I had so much trouble breathing, as if there was a weight on my chest. Well, there was. Dart was sitting squarely on my chest, one paw planted on my cheek and was industriously licking my forehead clean of the ointment.

My mom had also caught him and scolded him thoroughly, tossing him out of my room. The scar was for the most part healed, but it was still tender and cat tongues are not known for their gentleness, so it did hurt somewhat. Extremely annoyed, I got up, washed my forehead of cat slobber, and reapplied the vitamin E. Within 10 minutes that darn cat was back, in my face. He got chucked out again, and again. After what had to be the fifth time, I shut my door firmly and jammed the doorstop under the gap. You see, my cat, while not too bright, was clever enough to have figured out how to shove open my door if it wasn’t latched securely, or he’d slip a paw under the gap at the bottom and pull it open. After doing this, he was not getting in and Dart set up a piteous wailing outside my door that caused my dad to wake up and yell at the cat.

For all that he thought he was a mighty hunter, he was more often a big scaredy cat. Dart once picked a fight with a praying mantis, who pinched his nose in retaliation and sent the cat crying back inside. He also had a palate for various insects, though the bumblebee was a big mistake. He liked to eat flies, which I secretly approved of, because they would drive me crazy when they’d get stuck in my room. I saw him leap at least 3 feet in the air after one and chomp it, on one occasion. He also ate spiders, which I encouraged, because I HATE the little abominations. Dart also was quite fond of moths, and I saw him eat quite a few, including some good sized ones.

I have more stories of Dart, but I’ll leave this installment here for now. I hope they made you laugh. They are great memories for me.

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