I’ve been thinking about this phrase again, and pondering what it means. I think I’ve come to a realization that it doesn’t necessarily mean you dump all your problems on a possibly divine being and go on with your life.
There are some things in life that we, as human beings, just can’t handle. They are not humanly possible for us to fix, because they are such enormous issues that one person can’t possibly do it on their own. We do what we can on our own, hoping our little bit is one little piece making things better in the world.
Let me go into where this all came about. It was one of my past jobs at a pharmacy, and I was working the cash register. One of my regular customers came in for his items and asked me how my day was. I answered him honestly, not that great. He was a very sweet man, a widower and religious in view, but it never really bothered me. he looked at me and said ‘sometimes you just have to give it to God, because we’re not meant to take on those kinds of burdens’. I thanked him and his words just stuck in my head the rest of the day.
The fact is, those words made a real kind of sense to me. I was not in the best of emotional states at the time, I was deeply depressed, stressed out and close to breaking down. I was trying to hold it all inside at that job, all the while ready to fall apart internally. I was pushing myself so hard that it was affecting me physically, trying to be the perfect employee and perfect daughter, and failing spectacularly at both. I was neglecting my own mental and phsyical health for my job, because i felt that the job was more important than how I felt.
Let’s also understand something here. I am not a holy roller in any way, shape or form. I despise fundamental religions with a passion. Especially those of the evangelical bent. If anything, I see myself as a fervent agnostic, not willing to blindly place any faith in one place without question. I do not believe faith will cure any illness one suffers. I’m quite militant about that. I’ve ticked off a lot of people for having that philosophy, and will CONTINUE to tick people off, because I will not swear mindless allegiance to any higher power. The concept going on here is that any one person is incapable of solving all the world’s ills. It is an impossible task, and we cannot torture ouselves over that. We take care of ourselves first, our physical, mental, and spiritual health. The rest just follows. If any of you can’t grasp what I’ve said here, or just cherry-picked what you liked from it, you haven’t paid attention to me at all. You just glommed onto this because it had ‘God’ in the title, so therefore it was good. It’s up to each person whether they want to see this in a religious light or not, but what matters is that what I’ve said means something to you. Simple as that.
I’m not perfect, and I never will be. That’s reality. I keep trying to do everything at once, thinking that people will love me more if they see me doing all these things at once. I’m not Supergirl, I’m just me. That’s where the concept of ‘giving it to God’ comes in. I CAN’T do everything at once, and I need to let that go. It’s impossible for me to solve all of my problems in one fell swoop. I have to break things down, take it one task at a time. Doesn’t make me a bad person. It just makes me human. I can’t fix everything, I need to fix me first. It’s not about giving up one’s responsibilities, but knowing exactly what YOU are capable of handling on your own.
We push ourselves so hard, past the breaking point at times, and I’ve seen personally how destructive it can be to ourselves. We don’t necessarily have to believe in a higher power to know we are loved, we just need to understand what our abilites and limits are, and NOT condemn ourselves for that. That’s the lesson I’m trying to learn. It’s what we all need to learn.